What is your perspective?

The 30th anniversary of my 29th birthday and I don’t even know the words to use that would show how grateful and appreciative I am for each and everyone of you. I feel so loved with all the posts, texts, calls and actual face to face time you have given me over the last week… heck over the last year.

As I was walking this morning (yes, it was freezing) I reflected on the fact that my circumstances have not changed. I did not hear from either of my daughters, I still have 2 granddaughters I have never met, I am still doing this thing called life alone (well you know God is right here with me) but physically alone. My circumstances has not changed but my “perspective” has. In reality I could lay in bed feeling sorry for myself and waste away days… I choose not to. I am being diligent about looking for the good, living in the moment, acknowledging that I am broken… my heart is crushed but I am choosing not to live there…

Saturday I got to FaceTime my dear sweet Elliott thanks to my Mom. I got to talk with my Dad. I had prayers answered and chose to truly live in the moment. I have been blessed with sincere, loving, friends who keep me accountable, invite me into their lives even when I am not being my best self.

I went into this 30th anniversary of my 29th birthday straightening my crown and remembering whose child I truly am! The greatest limitations on my life are the limits I put there…yes, I am sick, yes I have unbearably bad days but I have learned how to not feel guilty for resting and allowing my body to heal. I am choosing to see the cup half full… yes, it is a choice. Do I have days I have to fight to get out of bed? Yes! That I have to look a little bit harder for a good thing in my day? Yes! The thing is I don’t live there, I don’t speak life over that instead I speak life into attempting to be a better version of myself daily, sometimes it is required hourly…every minute (I am a hot mess at times)…just being real.

This is, I am, a work in progress! I just appreciate every day I get to wake up and try to make the present day better than the last. What’s that saying… make today so great that yesterday gets jealous!!! Yes!!!

Again thank you for making my day, week… better than I could have ever imagined… I am grateful 💗